crash

Theyre coming for me, millions of them

from every side and every angle

faster than i can think, 

cowering in fear, too slow to run, too big to hide

trapped like a zebra in a pack of lions

theres nowhere to escape to

Then all at once theyre inside me

compressing my lungs and my stomache

until I can’t breathe

and all I can think to myself is

“breathe, breathe, breathe”

pulling in gasps of air

hoping that nobody will notice

the silent struggle right in front of them

How many drops has this piece of fabric caught?

How many times has it been suffocated

between my arms, I’m holding on for sanity

burying my wet face into its familiar folds

the smell of my childhood still there

reminding me that part of me is also still there

See how it’s frayed and torn?

well loved or abused?

how long until this fabric tears

pulled back and forth, up and down

like a yo-yo, constantly spinning from one end to the next

there is no reason.

there is never a reason.

this is also what it’s like to be bipolar.